New Book Release:Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family

I'd like to thank Cathrina for hosting me on the 

final day of the blog tour for my Christmas novella 

Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the 

World Through Tolerating My Family!  As much 

fun as it’s been, it feels good to wrap things up.

Today I’d like to celebrate mistletoe.  It’s a 

parasitic plant that grows on trees, and apparently 

it can even kill the host tree under some 

circumstances.  Yikes!  It’s also a holiday favorite 

and can be used to solicit kisses.  If someone you 

aren’t overly fond of is wielding mistletoe, look 

out!

I decided to honor this feisty little organism with a 

song.  I wrote the lyrics, but it’s meant to be sung 

to the tune of “O Christmas Tree.”

Oh mistletoe, oh mistletoe

How cunning are thy nature

Oh mistletoe, oh mistletoe

How cunning are thy nature

A parasite that latches on

To a tree till its food is gone

Oh mistletoe, oh mistletoe

How cunning are thy nature

Oh mistletoe, oh mistletoe

How people use you at parties

Oh mistletoe, oh mistletoe

How people use you at parties

They hold you up to get a kiss

Or hang you so guests cannot miss

Oh mistletoe, oh mistletoe

How people use you at parties

Oh mistletoe, oh mistletoe

You’ll ever be so cunning

A symbol of all that’s sneaky

You’ll ever be so cunning

Each dangling bunch

Each gleeful smile

None can deny thy crafty style

Oh mistletoe, oh mistletoe

How cunning are thy nature

 

Title: Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family

Author: L.G. Keltner

Genre: Holiday/Humor

Length: 27,000

Cover Art: L.G. Keltner

Release Date: December 1, 2015

Blurb:

Dani Finklemeier has decided to write a self-help book about how to take over the world, but she’s not sure where to start.  After all, she’s only seventeen and looking for a better way to make money than babysitting.  She buys a self-help book that promises to teach her how to write a self-help book in the hope of getting the job done.

Not that it’ll be easy to get any work done this holiday season.  Her family is staying at the house for Christmas, and fights break out almost immediately.  Dani also has to deal with the fallout from an unexpected kiss with her best friend Seth and the feelings that go along with it.  On edge around her family and unsure how to interact with the one person she’s trusted with everything in the past, she can only take what inspiration she can from the crazy circumstances surrounding her and see what happens.

One way or another, it should be an interesting holiday.

Now I hope you’ll enjoy a short snippet from Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family.

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That being said, if you hear any stories in the news about me being murdered by a family member, then you’ll know they did read it and took offense.  This is part of the life of the writer.  There’s always going to be a critic.

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Purchase Links:

Amazon-http://www.amazon.com/dp/B017NADK4C

Amazon UK-http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B017NADK4C

Barnes & Noble-http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/self-help-101-or-lg-keltner/1122797603?ean=2940152405781

Kobo-https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/self-help-101-or-how-i-learned-to-take-over-the-world-through-tolerating-my-family

CreateSpace-https://www.createspace.com/5650324

Add it on Goodreads-https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27243175-self-help-101-or

Bio:

L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband.  Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six.  Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good.  

Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.

You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.

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